Perfect Choices (GBE2 #107 AND #108 Topics: Half My Life Ago/What If?

Half my life ago, I was almost 19.

I'd dropped out of college and was just beginning my journey into living my life as an adult.

I had no job...but I was looking.  Luckily, my grandmother had left me her house when she passed away or I would not have had anywhere to go.  I had a roof over my head but a very limited understanding of how the business of having a job, keeping a job, and paying bills actually worked. 

I thought I had a boyfriend.  I hadn't really noticed that, for the past several months, he only showed up late at night or not at all.  I heard rumors that he was seeing another girl but I wasn't overly worried.  It couldn't be too serious with her if he was still visiting me...right? (Oh, silly 18 year old Stephanie...you have lots to learn!)

One night, as I was just drifting off to sleep, there was a knock at my door.  I peeked out into the hall and found a nice looking young man standing there.  He looked a few years older than me--probably in his early twenties.  I didn't know him and I had no idea why he was here.

He was a friend of my sister's boyfriend and my sister had sent him over to visit hoping that we'd hit it off.  I invited him in.  (I know, I know...I'm pretty darn lucky that he wasn't a total psycho...I was young and stupid!)  We started talking.  I thought he was a nice guy.  I can't imagine what he thought of me...with my pj's on and my bed hair...sitting cross-legged on the floor in a room with next to no furniture! 

He asked me if I had a boyfriend.  And I said yes!!  Then I proceeded to carry on about this "boyfriend" of mine for at least a good half-hour. 

As you can clearly see, I was a master at flirtation!

We crossed paths a few times after that but nothing ever came of it.  Within a few months, I had reunited with my high school sweetheart and a year after that we were married.  Five years after that, I met Jeff...five years after that...Jeff and I tied the knot with three of our children in attendance.

Sometimes I look back at moments in life where crucial decisions were made.  Did I make the right choice?  What if I had chosen differently...would things have been better?  Would things have been worse?  How different would I be?

As I sit here, writing this, I'm at the library watching Addy play checkers.  Mathias is reading me "Green Eggs and Ham".  It's been a terrific day.  Jeff and I went to the movies.  My makeup looked amazing.  We had an unexpected turn of good luck yesterday that will make our lives just a little bit easier.

Life is pretty awesome sometimes.

Sure.... I could have chosen differently.  But then I wouldn't be where I am right now. 

And right here is the perfect choice...for me.