I have to admit...I'm not totally a fan of this week's GBE2 topic of SUCCESS.
For the most part, I don't really see myself as a very 'successful' person.
I realize that we all have our own personal definitions of what it means to be successful. For some of us, that would be the attainment of a high status job or the accumulation of wealth.
Using that definition....I'm a total loser. I'm grateful that, in these tough economic times, I even have a job. But it's a bottom of the ladder position and it doesn't even come close to paying my expenses. I utterly loathe the company that I work for and most days I fantasize about the day that I finish school, find a job and escape their employment as fast as I can!
But on the bright side, I get paid to sleep for six out of the ten hours of my shift. So....I guess I'm a success at snagging the easiest job ever!
I thought I was a success at school. My father drilled into me at a very young age that anything less than perfect grades was unacceptable and even though my adult self believes this is bullshit...the little girl inside....the one who lived to bring home that straight-A report card to keep her daddy's approval....is pretty crushed that I've traded in my 4.0 for a 3.76.
I KNOW I'm a successful parent. My children are (reasonably) well mannered. They are smart and independent with great senses of humor. They are thoughtful and have even been known to be helpful on occasion without being asked. They're tolerant of others differences and the older kids have all donated their time or allowances to charity--on their own! They are far from perfect...but I figure Jeffrey and I are doing something right with them :)
When I was a teenager, my grandmother told me that it didn't matter what I made of my life as long as I was a good person. If I was a good person...she would be proud of me no matter what.
I try to keep that in mind. I try to live by it. But societal definitions of success often creep in and I'm reminded of how 'unsuccessful' I actually am.
I'm not perfect.
Far from it, actually.
But I am a fortunate person.
I have family and friends that love me....and most days I'm happy with the person that I've become. I have a roof over my head and a car parked outside. There's food in my fridge, a lap-top in my lap, and more eyeshadow in my bedroom than any girl rightfully needs.
I might not always make the best decisions...but I'm never intentionally mean. I try to admit when I'm wrong (that is SO hard for me!) and I try to learn something from every experience--good or bad.
I'm a good person.
Grandma would be proud of me.
I guess I'm more successful than I thought!