Half my life ago, I was almost 19.
I'd dropped out of college and was just beginning my journey into living my life as an adult.
I had no job...but I was looking. Luckily, my grandmother had left me her house when she passed away or I would not have had anywhere to go. I had a roof over my head but a very limited understanding of how the business of having a job, keeping a job, and paying bills actually worked.
I thought I had a boyfriend. I hadn't really noticed that, for the past several months, he only showed up late at night or not at all. I heard rumors that he was seeing another girl but I wasn't overly worried. It couldn't be too serious with her if he was still visiting me...right? (Oh, silly 18 year old Stephanie...you have lots to learn!)
One night, as I was just drifting off to sleep, there was a knock at my door. I peeked out into the hall and found a nice looking young man standing there. He looked a few years older than me--probably in his early twenties. I didn't know him and I had no idea why he was here.
He was a friend of my sister's boyfriend and my sister had sent him over to visit hoping that we'd hit it off. I invited him in. (I know, I know...I'm pretty darn lucky that he wasn't a total psycho...I was young and stupid!) We started talking. I thought he was a nice guy. I can't imagine what he thought of me...with my pj's on and my bed hair...sitting cross-legged on the floor in a room with next to no furniture!
He asked me if I had a boyfriend. And I said yes!! Then I proceeded to carry on about this "boyfriend" of mine for at least a good half-hour.
As you can clearly see, I was a master at flirtation!
We crossed paths a few times after that but nothing ever came of it. Within a few months, I had reunited with my high school sweetheart and a year after that we were married. Five years after that, I met Jeff...five years after that...Jeff and I tied the knot with three of our children in attendance.
Sometimes I look back at moments in life where crucial decisions were made. Did I make the right choice? What if I had chosen differently...would things have been better? Would things have been worse? How different would I be?
As I sit here, writing this, I'm at the library watching Addy play checkers. Mathias is reading me "Green Eggs and Ham". It's been a terrific day. Jeff and I went to the movies. My makeup looked amazing. We had an unexpected turn of good luck yesterday that will make our lives just a little bit easier.
Life is pretty awesome sometimes.
Sure.... I could have chosen differently. But then I wouldn't be where I am right now.
And right here is the perfect choice...for me.