Before I start, I just wanted say....Holy Guacamole! We're on week 26 of GBE2?! A half a year has gone by already! That's amazing. I am so thankful to be a part of this group and for the opportunities you guys give me to take a peek into your worlds week after week. And...thank you Beth for going through this with us every week and for being our "leader". (((Super Big Hugs))) to all my fellow GBE-ers! Congratulations on fantastic 26 weeks!
In early 2002, life was just about perfect.
In just a little over a year, Jeff, Nathan and I had gone from being three virtual strangers struggling to get to know one another to being a real honest-to-goodness family. Then, in September of 2001, we'd welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our lives.
I never even thought I would have one kid--and now I was lucky enough to have two! I was quite pleased with my little family. More kids were not in the equation....at least not yet. Addy was only four months old..we could revisit that idea once she got to kindergarten....
One night...a night where we threw common sense and better judgement out the window....a night where wetotally didn't think at all thought with our parts instead of our brains....
One night changed everything.
The realization that I was pregnant--AGAIN--after just giving birth four months before was tough pill to swallow. This was no blessed bundle of joy. This wasn't a reason to get excited.
I remember Jeff looking to me and asking me what I wanted to do about this pregnancy and solemnly telling him "Well, we've made our bed...and now we have to lie in it"
But, I didn't want to have this baby. I beat myself up with guilt. What kind of mother feels that away about her own baby??!! How could I be a good mother after this?
I was scared. Hell, I was terrified.
Not only was this another baby but it was also back to back babies. I had visions of two cribs, two sets of bottles and diapers. Never-ending years of sleepless nights, formulas stained shirts, sticky hands and potty training accidents. I barely knew how to take care of the baby I already had....how was I supposed to take care of another baby at the same time!
Chasing around a toddler while trying to care for a newborn AND a kindergartener seemed like a one way ticket to insanity.
And that's exactly how it was.
Mostly.
Except for when it wasn't.
Parents are amazing creatures with the capacity for great feats of adaptation. Adding one more baby to the mix never really felt like it changed anything much--at least not in a negative way. I won't ever say it was easy but Jeff and I made it through....and now that those two babies are almost to middle school...I can say it wasn't ever as difficult as I'd imagined that it would be.
Living with Bear isn't always sunshine and rainbows. In fact, there are some days when I want to pull my hair out piece by piece. Loud days where the words "personal space" have no meaning. Days where everything I say and do causes meltdown after meltdown. Days where he sits on the couch repeating the same word or phrase over and over and over.....and over. Days where, from the corner of my eye, I can see his index finger heading towards my cheek--to lightly poke me--for the seventeenth time.
But I can't imagine this family without his unique style and personality. I can't imagine my life without him in it.
He became the blessed bundle of joy that I didn't know that I wanted. The one that I didn't know that I needed.
My 'happy accident'.
My 'Ooops! Baby'
In early 2002, life was just about perfect.
In just a little over a year, Jeff, Nathan and I had gone from being three virtual strangers struggling to get to know one another to being a real honest-to-goodness family. Then, in September of 2001, we'd welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our lives.
I never even thought I would have one kid--and now I was lucky enough to have two! I was quite pleased with my little family. More kids were not in the equation....at least not yet. Addy was only four months old..we could revisit that idea once she got to kindergarten....
One night...a night where we threw common sense and better judgement out the window....a night where we
One night changed everything.
The realization that I was pregnant--AGAIN--after just giving birth four months before was tough pill to swallow. This was no blessed bundle of joy. This wasn't a reason to get excited.
I remember Jeff looking to me and asking me what I wanted to do about this pregnancy and solemnly telling him "Well, we've made our bed...and now we have to lie in it"
But, I didn't want to have this baby. I beat myself up with guilt. What kind of mother feels that away about her own baby??!! How could I be a good mother after this?
I was scared. Hell, I was terrified.
Not only was this another baby but it was also back to back babies. I had visions of two cribs, two sets of bottles and diapers. Never-ending years of sleepless nights, formulas stained shirts, sticky hands and potty training accidents. I barely knew how to take care of the baby I already had....how was I supposed to take care of another baby at the same time!
Chasing around a toddler while trying to care for a newborn AND a kindergartener seemed like a one way ticket to insanity.
And that's exactly how it was.
Mostly.
Except for when it wasn't.
Parents are amazing creatures with the capacity for great feats of adaptation. Adding one more baby to the mix never really felt like it changed anything much--at least not in a negative way. I won't ever say it was easy but Jeff and I made it through....and now that those two babies are almost to middle school...I can say it wasn't ever as difficult as I'd imagined that it would be.
Living with Bear isn't always sunshine and rainbows. In fact, there are some days when I want to pull my hair out piece by piece. Loud days where the words "personal space" have no meaning. Days where everything I say and do causes meltdown after meltdown. Days where he sits on the couch repeating the same word or phrase over and over and over.....and over. Days where, from the corner of my eye, I can see his index finger heading towards my cheek--to lightly poke me--for the seventeenth time.
But I can't imagine this family without his unique style and personality. I can't imagine my life without him in it.
He became the blessed bundle of joy that I didn't know that I wanted. The one that I didn't know that I needed.
My 'happy accident'.
My 'Ooops! Baby'
My Bear.
The best surprise ever.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAR!!
(he affectionately calls me 'old lady')
(The Halloween Store is one of his favorite stores. Here, the ghouls are sucking out his soul! )
Yay for the happy accident. Now that's a lovely surprise. -Kelly
ReplyDeleteOh yeah! Those kinds of surprises can sneak up on ya and then, without your permission, just bless the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteI have a little happy surprise of my own. He turned 41 this past September and all 6'plus of him is a giant sized blessing.
Love your story.
Love your pictures, your stories and would love to be able to hug Bear in reality. Fabulous child, fab family!
ReplyDeleteHubby was born 357 days after his older brother, so you didn't do so badly. : - )
ReplyDeleteAww, I loved this! We had three babies in 18 months (twins in there), so I totally get the 'happy accident' thing. :O)
ReplyDeleteMy sister has two boys whose birthdays are exactly a year apart and a friend who has kids that are born a year and a week apart...I know thirteen and a half months isn't the worst it could be for sure :)
ReplyDeleteHere's to all of our happy accidents! *raises glass*
Thank you everybody for coming by!