Releasing My Inner Golden Girl (GBE2 #50 Topic: The Stranger)

There's a story from my younger days that my kids absolutely LOVE.

Since it involves a stranger, it fits for this week's prompt.  So sit back and relax because I'm about to get my Sophia Petrillo on....

Picture it.  Albany.  1992.

I was walking home with my very best friend.  I can't remember if we were walking home from school or from something else entirely...I suppose it doesn't matter...but we were about two or three blocks away from our houses. 

Up the street, we spied an older man.  He appeared ancient to me at the time but in reality he was probably in his late fifties or early sixties.  He was short (shorter than I was anyway) and stout.  His gray hair was short and he had the classic 'horseshoe' bald spot.  His big round face was covered with several days worth of five o'clock shadow.

My kids would have called him a hobo. 

I have no idea if he was actually homeless but he was quite disheveled and we thought it would be best if we gave this guy plenty of room on the street. 

Did I mention that he was wearing a trenchcoat? 

As we approached the spot where our paths would cross, he spoke to us.

Holding his trenchcoat closed he growled to us "Hey there girlies....get a load of this!"
And he whipped open the trenchcoat with all the oomph and enthusiasm of your garden variety flasher.

And he flashed us.

Fully clothed.

Twelve Moments (GBE #44: Make A List and Title it)

1. I got to sleep until 8:37 today.  For me, that is the equivalent of someone else sleeping until noon.

2. The seeds that Jeff, the kids and I planted are starting to sprout. 

3. Mathias is missing his two front teeth and, when he smiles, he kind of looks like a vampire.

4. Addy wrote a joke of the day on my white board (something that I have been doing) What does a student write to math?  Dear Math, I am not a therapist.  Go solve your own problems.

5. My new haircut looks really good!

6. The weather was not too hot...not too cold.  Just perfect.

7. My very good friend from school passed her boards and is now, officially, a nurse.

8. Jeff told me I looked sexy.

9. We went grocery shopping and now have a house fully stocked with food.

10. My newly adopted cat, Big Mama, ambled her big 'ol behind out onto the balcony to sunbathe.  She looked like she's been living here for years.

11. Bear and Mathias playing together nicely while I write this list.  I have extremely adorable boys who are both mighty passionate about legos.

12. Nathan voluntarily walked up to me, gave me a hug and told me that he loved me.

Title:  Twelve Moments from Today That Brought Me Joy

The Harshest Critic (GBE2 #19--Judgement)

I am far from a perfect person.

I never claimed to be.

My flaws are many

many, many indeed.

I'm vain and selfish.

I procrastinate.

I'm sloppy and disorganized.

I tend to overeat.

I'm not completely happy

without something to complain about

my jawline is crooked

when you look at my pout

my cheeks are too pink

my feet are too big

I have crows feet and stretch marks

from momming four kids

I sing really badly

I snort and I snore

when I blow my nose...

It sounds like a fog horn

I'm nosy and irrational

overemotional is me

there has never been a decision

I could make--easily

I want what I want

and I fuss when denied

I constantly compare myself 

to every girl that walks by

I'm my worst enemy

It's a voice I can't shush

Any judgements you have

you can leave on the shelf

Whatever you're thinking

I'm sure has been said

by that tiny voice

upstairs

in my head

Bedtime (GBE2 #9: Midnight)

Years ago, I wrote four poems.  I loved these poems so much....and no matter how hard I try, no poem written since is ever good enough to me.  But, I was inspired to write a poem for this topic....so here it is.  Hopefully, it doesn't suck too much :)

BEDTIME

I wish that I could run and hide

I wish that I could sleep

I wish you understood me

--that I wasn’t sinking deep

I want to laugh with you the first time

I want to be more than an afterthought

I want to be noticed and appreciated

--rather than forgotten about

I wish I could show you my worth

I wish I didn’t have to

I wish that I just clique-d

--rather than trying to cling to

I want jealousy to fade away

I want to not care

I want to feel normal again

--rather than just disappear

I wish my thoughts would quiet

I wish for calm and peace

--It’s hours after Midnight

I wish that I could sleep